Monday Motivation – One Day At A Time

Hello everyone,

I have found myself overwhelmed by sadness and grief this year. I am just teetering on the edge of a full-out depression. I sometimes find myself in a pretty dark place. I haven’t really talked to many about it because I do not want them to feel sorry for me or try to say nice things because I feel that would only make the sadness surface and feel stronger. If I tell people close to me how I feel they may feel responsible or wonder if they are good enough for me if they make me feel that sad. The reality is it has nothing to do with anyone else. I love my group of people and am so grateful for them though, I realize now that I may have isolated myself from them. At first feeling safe there isolated and avoiding the feelings and events that put me in this state. I am now wanting to break out of this cycle because it turns out isolation is lonely. It’s not easy to be able to reach out and at times I don’t know how to start the conversation. There are people in my life I haven’t spoken to in some time. I want to reach out but am not sure how to begin. It should be as easy as picking up the phone and dialing but it’s not just that easy. The anxiety runs deep my mind reels and I lose my voice. I am just taking it one day at a time and being there for the people in my life when I can and most importantly being there for me.

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13 thoughts on “Monday Motivation – One Day At A Time

  1. An email would be better than a phone call. Hell…*I* don’t like talking on the phone!
    With an email you can take your time in composing it and you don’t have to worry about the other person not responding immediately.

    Have you also considered using a third party as an intermediary?
    Get them to broach the subject that you and him/her were talking and that its been ages since we chatted and that you felt that it was time to clear the air (Or whatever).

    Something simple like that.

    Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That;s a good suggestion. I am so opposite I prefer to talk on the phone and that is how I have isolated myself. By avoiding socials and stuff. It’s been so long since I made a status update on facebook I don’t even know what to say! Most of the items on my facebook are posts other people put there. I just have to get over it and realize that connecting with people means to give up on the idea of actual interaction and get sucked into messaging instead.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You still have the choice of not responding… Or at least not responding right now.
        And if you don’t want to get instant messages then simply ignore it. I think there is a way to turn it off… I don’t use facebook so I’m not sure.

        And as to what to say in your facebook message… What about a simple…
        “Hey guys… Not been on here in a while. I have no excuses… I just didn’t do it. I’m hoping I’ll put some stuff up here soon!”
        And then go from there. Those that want to talk to you will make the effort.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh I already have that site so blocked from contacting me the settings aren’t even the same anymore. it’s unfortunate that it is the preferred way of contacting others for so many because I dislike the site and don’t like using it. unfortunately many are like you and don’t like talking on the phone. I could talk on the phone all day and with some friends I do. Thanks for the advice I appreciate your kindness!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Exactly. My tumblrs are Following Footsteps and Opaque… they both are linked to Following Footsteps. Unfortunately, I don’t have much traffic on Tumblr, so there aren’t many people who have reached out to me. But I will reach out to you, Genevieve.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I just checked out Tumblr and I don’t have a following there either. I found you though and read through things you have wrote. I agree we are thinking alike at times and even our career choices mirror each other. It is hard when we are unable to express ourselves and feel silenced or unheard. Knowing all well this happens for a reason and we shall overcome.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m in the same boat. Do you have Tumblr, Genevieve? I have a few diary entries that mirror what you have been through. Reaching out is hard, but YOU MUST DO IT. I was sort of isolated for a year and a half, and it was rough. I know we both have significant others to support us, but it is not the same unless we are our true selves. Genevieve, I understand that this year has been full of grief and pain. You have an American counterpart right here, but I am telling you. As the new movie Trolls would say, there is happiness within you. You just need someone else to help you find it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do have a tumblr I forget to check it because it is just linked that wordpress auto posts there or something. I’ll have to try and find you. I haven’t seen that movie yet but I am loving that message. Sometimes I am so caught up in helping and inspiring other I haven’t paid attention to myself. I am happy that I have this place here on wordpress and friendships such as yours to open up about this. I am not a fan of seeing pity in the eyes of others when you talk about this to people. I appreciate being familiarized with it makes the lonely feel not as alone.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know it, darling. I speak even when no one hears me. That is how I deal with it. Shoot, I see familiar names on Facebook, and yet I have not spoken to these people in years. Around the holidays, I get choked up about the memories. It is nice to have someone listen to you.

        Like

  3. You’re not alone! I cannot tell you how many times I’ve said “this is not my year” this year lol. I have been very selfish to myself, in not asking for help, to the point where my anxiety got super bad. It was a very dark and frightening place, even for me. It was very hard to get out of it. I fell into a “depression”, but I can’t really call it that. They told me I was experiencing symptoms of it but it wasn’t clinical depression. Just this very immense sadness coupled with fear. This past week I began to feel like my anxiety was going to come back and I thought back to how stress triggers it. So I’ve been trying to calm myself down, think more positively, do things more mindfully, take deep breaths when I need to, meditate right before falling asleep, and I’ve been able to overcome it. It’s not an easy task, i will say that, but it’s possible to see the light again. 😊
    I wish you well! Sending lots of positive vibes and hugs to you doll! xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks so much for that. I understand that completely! It is so easy to focus on being there for others and helping them, being a inspiration or role model than to face the darkness I am harbouring. I’m walking a very fine line here there are days like the day I wrote that post that I stay up all night with only anxiety to comfort me. I am not finding enjoyment in the things I used to. Things like that. Than there are days when I feel great ambitious and happy. Yes it’s been a tough year though some wonderful things have happened and it’s all I can do not to dwell on sadness and appreciate myself and the good more.
      We will overcome this *hugs*

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I know how you feel … I am there too I need to get out more and talk to people ,, but its like I have forgot how…. know that I am always here for you and I know you are there for me too … Love you

    Liked by 2 people

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